Blowing the doors off pretense and surface living; taking
an honest look at real life issues
“What on earth does this woman mean by ‘Life Unhinged’? Doesn’t she realize it’s all I can do to keep my life together? I sure don’t want to feel any more ‘unhinged’ than I am already!’ Good question…
So often we think if we push out a “stiff upper lip”… if we “pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps”… or if we, “keep all the families’ dirty little secrets”; that we will somehow be able to muddle through this life without rocking the proverbial life boat, and will eventually make it to the Golden Gates of glory without too many bumps or bruises. My friend, nothing could be further from the truth.
The only real life is an honest life: a life where we really are “okay” with everything being on the table; a life where we have the courage to live with transparency; a life where it is okay for us to admit and deal with our mistakes! For a time we can wear our masks, fake our facades, and keep everything behind our little locked doors. BUT there will come a time the doors will have to be blown wide open, maybe even off their hinges, if we are going to live healthy lives. And when I say “healthy” I mean healthy in every area: Spiritually; Emotionally; Relationally; and even Physically! To borrow a phrase from our friends at AA, “we are only as sick as our secrets”. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of being sick and tired; and I am too young to feel this stinkin’ old. I am tired of sick relationships that do not have good boundaries. I am tired of being emotionally stunted because I do not feel the freedom to explore what is going on inside of me. I am tired of being negatively affected physically by my self-defeating behaviors and so called “besetting sins”. And most importantly, I am tired of living beneath what God has for me spiritually – not living a life that is “fully pleasing” to Him. Christ came to give us life and that more abundantly. He has won the victory in EVERY area. Now is the time for me, for us, to learn to walk in this victory.
“Nice words, Lady! But how?”
I’d like to say it’s easy, but it isn’t and it won’t happen overnight. To live a real life, an honest life, it takes risk – even making ourselves more vulnerable than we often want. But the pay offs are amazing! We will end up living lives that are victoriously surrendered to God. We will be emotionally healthy to the point we will be able to let go of the “crutches” that were keeping us bound. Our physical health will improve due to the healthier lifestyles we will be living. And our relationships with family, friends, and co-workers will be on solid ground.
“Okay PJ, I’m ready! How do I get started?”
We get started by being willing to take an honest look in the mirror – to slow down enough to take a real good look at the man or woman looking back at us. And then…
- Know any real change is only going to come as we get honest before God and man.
- Realize we cannot change ourselves by ourselves– we can only change as we give control over to God, relying on His strength.
- Consciously nurture our relationship with God.
- Develop a strong support system to help make and keep any needed changes. This support system needs to include those who will be positive forces in your life and who will keep you accountable.
- Get rid of anything hindering your growth – even if it means taking a step back from certain relationships.
- Don’t try to change the world overnight – remember, lasting change is a process, one day at a time.
- When you blow it – own it! Be honest about any struggles and ask God for the strength to keep on keeping on.
I don’t want to sound overly simplistic. The above tools are just that – basic tools to begin or continue this process of living an honest life, a “Life Unhinged”. As I continue on with these blogs, it is my goal to take a look at various issues, one issue at a time. Until next time: “May God bless you, keep you and grow you; all for His purpose and glory.”